那一刻，我感受到我的特权
我们是九个十八九岁的孩子，白人，来自北美和欧洲。我们一起踏进诊所，一种感觉油然而生，好像我们几个比医生还要懂医术。我知道这种感觉从何而来：白皮肤和美国口音。
United States, Northern America
Story by Sidra Kennedy. Translated by Lina Bell
Published on September 13, 2020.
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想像一下：你十八岁，刚从高中毕业。你最讨厌生物，整个高中只有这一门课是C，还非常与众不同地选修了物理而不是化学。如果只是感冒，你还能自我诊断一下，更严重一点的问题就会把你弄得晕头转向。
在这个前提下，你觉得自己能给别人打针，或者是帮人接生吗？似乎没有人会让一个完全没接受过医学教育的人去做这种事吧。然而，这种事却发生在我的身上。
高中毕业后，我空档年（gap year）的项目是学习加纳的公共卫生系统，了解一下世界的发展。项目里一共有九名成员，都是来自欧洲和北美的十八九岁的少年。我们中有三人被分到了阿散蒂地区的乡村诊所。我们本应和医生交流，观摩他的操作。但是踏入诊所的一瞬间，每个人看到的都是：我们是白人。病人们坚持让我们来看诊，就连医生也这样说。这很让人震惊：我们一点医学相关的训练都没有接受过，一下子就得到了这么沉重的责任和敬意。这种自动出现在人们脑子里的意识是很可怕的，人们觉得一群高中刚毕业的孩子会比学医多年的医生和护士做的好。我知道这种意识从何而来：我的白皮肤和美国口音。然而，我难以理解为何他们会产生如此敬意。
在我协助一位助产员接生后，我对自己感到很生气。我怎么能去做一件我明知自己没有资格做的事？我怎么能默许这种错误的想法：一个白皮肤的西方人就一定能胜任医生这种神圣的工作？意识到这一点令我很吃惊，甚至可以说是很受伤。虽然我一直自诩为开明的自由主义者，我也知道这世上有许多因为肤色引起的不平等，但是我却毫无知觉的享受了肤色带给我的特权。我没有试图改变病人们的观点，我没有强调助产员的权威性，我只是默认了这种偏见然后直接做了接生的工作。
在那个诊所工作的时候，我的心中五味杂陈：感到吃惊、感到特殊、感到羞耻，这些感情交织在一起令我迷惑。我觉得，如果我一味享受这份特殊，那我将永远无法消除任何歧视。在这个过程中我逐渐意识到，这种不应得的特权会让某些人看起来高于他人，这样就加剧了歧视。消除歧视有两个过程：第一步是很明显的，从源头上解决歧视；第二步较为隐蔽，消除我拥有的这种不应得的特权，因为这一定会导致歧视的发生。
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Sidra Kennedy
Hi!! I’m Sidra, I’m 19 years old and I’m from the United States. I love discovering new cultures and meeting new people. So far I have lived, worked and studied in the US, Guatemala, Thailand and Ghana, but I hope to expand and learn more. My passion is education and one day I hope to dedicate my life to trying to provide education to everyone in the world. But for now, I’m trying to experience as much of the world as I can!
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