"Das Land", 200X100, Milton Camilo

De Rio à Wuppertal

Je suis venu en Allemagne pour une raison principale: la liberté.
Germany, Western Europe

Story by Milton Camilo. Translated by Clémentine Boiffier
Published on July 5, 2020.

This story is also available in GB br



Je suis venu en Allemagne pour une raison principale: la liberté. Ici, la vie a de la valeur, elle compte. Pas comme au Brésil, où rien qu’en 2017, 63 880 personnes sont mortes, victimes de la criminalité[1]. En Allemagne il semble que la vie a davantage de valeur. On ne se fait pas tuer à cause des chaussures que l’on porte; loin de là.

Par exemple, il y a une personne sans abri devant laquelle je passe pour aller travailler à Wuppertal (Allemagne) et à qui je donne quelques pièces. L’autre jour je n’avais pas d’argent liquide et lui ai dit: “désolé, aujourd’hui je n’ai rien.” Un instant plus tard, cet homme m’a couru après et a voulu me donner tout ce qu’il avait récolté dans la journée. Il pensait que j’étais celui qui avait besoin d’argent ce jour-là. 

Je viens d’un quartier populaire à Rio et quand j’étais petit, je n’aurais jamais envisagé quitter le Brésil. Je suis très proche de ma mère, de chez moi et de mon quartier. Pourtant autour de l’âge de 19 ans, je suis parti en école de danse classique. Cela a confirmé au voisinage ce qu’ils suspectaient déjà: j’étais gay (bien que de mon point de vue, je tombe amoureux de personnes, leur genre importe peu). À cette époque je vivais dans une maison seul avec ma mère. Un matin quelqu’un à tenté d’entrer par effraction chez nous. Il disait vouloir “ce qu’il y avait de plus précieux dans cette maison”: il voulait me violer.

Ma mère criait. Elle voyait les voisins regarder passivement la scène alors elle a crié leurs noms jusqu’à ce qu’ils se sentent coupables et viennent à notre aide. L’intrus a alors prétendu qu’il était juste ivre et s’est mis en chemin. Mais une fois les voisins partis à leur tour, il est revenu sur ses pas, m’a regardé et a dit: “je reviendrai et je t’aurai.”

Mon monde s’écroulait. J’avais peur de me rendre n’importe où à pied. Cela a duré encore plusieurs mois, jusqu’au jour où un personnage peu fréquentable de mon quartier m’a pris en affection. Quand je lui ai expliqué à propos de l’intrus il m’a dit: “Ne t’inquiète pas, je m’en occupe.” Je n’ai pas compris. Quelques jours plus tard, il est arrivé en voiture et a tué mon aggresseur, en pleine journée, devant tout le monde. Pourtant je sentais toujours qu’il fallait que je m’échappe. 

C’est à cette période que j’ai appris l’existence de l’Ausdruckstanz[2] en Allemagne. J’ai participé à un atelier avec deux danseurs allemands. Ils m’ont dit que j’avais un vrai potentiel et que je devais me rendre en Allemagne pour apprendre l’Ausdruckstanz. Deux ans plus tard, lorsque j’avais 27 ans, j’ai déménagé en Allemagne pour apprendre la danse contemporaine et expérimenter “une vie plus libre”[3]. Ce que j’ai trouvé en Allemagne c’est un endroit où la vie des individus a de la valeur et où je me sens en sécurité – des univers bien éloignés de mon enfance à Rio.

Je n’ai pas complètement “quitté” Rio pour autant. J’entretiens le lien avec mon pays d’origine en m’y rendant fréquemment et en me tenant informé de la politique locale. Même si les progrès sont lents, j’ai l’espoir que la situation au Brésil s’améliore. Les gens en ont assez de la corruption gouvernementale et de l’injustice. En outre, Rio vit en moi, dans ma danse et dans mon art. Pour moi, la danse et l’art sont une expression de la liberté: un moyen pour les gens de transcender la politique et l’oppression, que ce soit au Brésil ou en Allemagne. 


Notes

[1] https://www.diepresse.com/5478130/mordrate-in-brasilien-erreicht-neue-hohen

[2] Danse expressionniste

[3] Si vous voulez connaître mes projets d’art et de danse, allez voir http://www.miltoncamilo.de/index.php


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Milton Camilo

Milton Camilo

Photo Credits: Suilian Richon

Hey, I am Milton Camillo. I am a 50-year-old Afro-Brazilian dancer and artist from Rio who emigrated to Germany more than 20 years ago. I am currently living in Wuppertal and focusing on my paintings. Within them, you can often find a certain sense of melancholy, a grasp of what is described by the Portuguese word “Saudade”. With my paintings, I am breaking up the normalized structures that have been taken for granted by the grown-ups in comparison to children, where everything is still fluid and possible. In that sense, they can definitely be understood politically.

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