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Cinsiyete Dayalı Dokunulamazlık

Tek bir dilek hakkım olsa, kadınların erkeklerin baskısı olmadan ne olmak istediklerini özgürce seçebilmelerini ve kadınların toplumun ne düşüneceğinden utanmadan kendi seslerine sahip olmasını dilerdim. Bizim yerimiz sadece mutfak değil veya görevimiz bebek doğurmak değil, bizim de kendi hayatlarımız var. Herkesin eşit haklara sahip olmasını umuyorum.

Story by Pabita Timilshina. Translated by by Merve Deniz Paker
Nepal, Southern Asia
Published on Sunday, 23. February 2020

Reading time: 2 minutes

This story is also available in GB br de it



Nepal’de menstrual döngü hakkında sıkı ve dile getirilmeyen bir kural vardır. Regl olduğunuzda ilk 3 gün evde kalmanıza izin verilmez. Bu yüzden ilk defada kadını evden uzak bir yerde saklamanız gerekir. İkinci ve üçüncüde ise bir odada izole edilirsiniz ve ailenizi görmenize izin verilmez. Üç defadan sonra yerde uyumak şartıyla evde kalmanıza izin verilir, yemek kapınız ve ayrı kaşıklarınız bırakılarak size bir köpek gibi davranılır. Sonrasında kadının duş alması gerekir ve yemek yapmasına hala izin verilmez. Ancak beşinci günden sonra eşleriyle yatabilir ve bebeklerine dokunabilirler.

Ücra bölgelerde Chaupadi diye bir sistem bile var, yani aileler kızlarını suyun ve elektriğin olmadığı barakalara gönderiyor. Bu sistem hükümet tarafından yasaklanmış olsa da hala yaygın olarak uygulanıyor. Yayımlanan bir veriye göre her yıl 20-25 kadın bu uygulama sonucu hayatını kaybediyor. Yılan ısırıkları, yatacak çarşaf ve ateşin olmamasından dolayı açlık veya soğuk ya da ailelerin orda unutması ölüme yol açan bazı etkenler. Bu uygulama eski Hindu geleneklerine dayanıyor fakat asıl sorun çoğu STK’nın bu ücra bölgelere ulaşmaması.

5 yıl boyunca Birleşik Krallık’ta yaşadım, böylece farklı dünyaları anlayabildim. Fakat ülkeme dönüp ülkem ve insanlarım için özellikle sesi olmayan insanlar için aktif olmak istedim. Kendim de küçükken amcam tarafından taciz edildim ve o bunu hiçbir zaman itiraf etmedi. Çok ağlamak zorunda kaldım, bana ne yaptığını bütün aileme anlattım fakat hiç kimse arkamda durmadı. Aile ismini lekelemek istemediler. Bu süreçte gün içinde çok yorgun hissettiğim ve korktuğum için insanlar geceleri bana bir cadının saldırdığını söylerdi. Bir gece gözümü açtığımda yatağımın yanında oturuyordu, neyse ki tecavüz etmedi sadece vücuduma dokundu. Bu yüzden oradaki kadınlar için mücadele etmek istiyorum çünkü ailemden hiç kimse beni desteklemedi. Ki ailem, Brahmanlar, Nepal’in en eğitimli ve en üst kastlarından biridir. 

Desteklemeye çalıştığım kızlar kimsenin koruması olmadan küçük yaştan beri istismara maruz kaldılar. Bu yüzden Nepal’e döndüğümde topluluklarda neyin “normal” olup olmadığına, neyin şikayet edilebileceğine dair konuşmalar yaptım. Yaşadıklarım üzerine güçlü bir şekilde harekete geçme kararı aldım ve kızlarım için de aynı şeyi istiyorum. Kimse dinlemezken kendinize güçlü kalmayı öğretmek sizin kararınız. Bu bana ilham veren en büyük şey. Kimsenin sizin için ses çıkarmasına ihtiyacınız yok. Zamanla diğer kadınlar da size katılacaktır ve siz liderler yetiştirdikçe insanlar kendileri için konuşmaya başlar. Sorunlar hep çözümleriyle birlikte gelir, yeter ki insanların sizin hakkınızda ne düşüneceğinden korkmayın.

Tek bir dilek hakkım olsa, kadınların erkeklerin baskısı olmadan ne olmak istediklerini özgürce seçebilmelerini ve kadınların toplumun ne düşüneceğinden utanmadan kendi seslerine sahip olmasını dilerdim. Bizim yerimiz sadece mutfak değil veya görevimiz bebek doğurmak değil, bizim de kendi hayatlarımız var. Herkesin eşit haklara sahip olmasını umuyorum.


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Pabita Timilshina

Pabita Timilshina

Hello, it is me Pabita Timilshina!

I am from Nepal, the beautiful city of Pokhara. I am 30 years old and I did my diploma of nursing from Kathmandu, where I started to work in a hospital as an emergency nurse. Soon I shifted into business because I have encountered many things that were so disturbing to me, like girls getting abused openly without any consequences. I realized I wanted to do something for them, using my previous knowledge and experiences. I have set up the program Sahayatra Health Awareness Programme, which a social initiative for promoting monthly hygiene habits amongst young ladies and women, as well as addressing topics like gender inequality, sexual abuse, and mental health. 

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