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双性恋男人:我们存在吗?

最近,性取向并非固定,而是在一定范围内浮动的观点获得了很多人的认可。在2020年,双性恋男人依然要为自己的存在辩护,这让我觉得很奇怪。
Australia, Oceania

Story by Hal Fulcher. Translated by Lina Bell
Published on April 18, 2022.

This story is also available in GB br de es it kr nl ru



身为一个双性恋青少年是很挣扎的事。我13岁的时候,第一次了解到“双性恋”这个概念,当时我在心里悄悄喊了一声“啊哈!”,之后我立刻粗暴地否定自己和这个概念有任何关系。我在心里接着说,“我应该是喜欢数学课上的克莉斯丁,所以我是直男。” 我不愿让自己想到那个我也很中意的男生。

我在澳大利亚一个相当恐同的小镇里长大,所以这么多年来,我一直压抑着自己对于男性的取向。当身边的朋友纷纷开启第一段恋情时,我还在尽力保持自己的童贞形象——仿佛这样我就能做回青春期之前单纯的自己。那时是2003年,我在心里相信,或许只要把哈利波特看上10遍,认真扮演一个单纯的学生,我就会顺利度过自己的高中生活。

直到20岁出头,我才能顺利的坦白我是双性恋这件事——先是对自己承认,然后是告诉身边的人。出柜后我确实轻松了不少,减肥也成功了。不过双性恋的身份也在人际交往方面给我带来了一些麻烦。有时候我会觉得是不是因为我在小镇子里长大,所以过于敏感多虑了。我在22岁的时候离开了澳大利亚,在几个更包容的欧洲小城镇生活过。然而,不管是告诉异性恋的人或者是同性恋的人我是一个双性恋,有些人会表现得很惊讶,或者是流露出一种不信任的感觉。之前,我曾经被异性恋女性拒绝过,她们担心我是同性恋;也被同性恋男性拒绝过,他们觉得我最终会因为一个女性而抛弃他们。

这种在异性恋和同性恋群体中都找不到归属的不确定感也许能够部分解释2018年美国进步中心的一份报告,报告中的数据显示,双性恋人群的各种社会关系和健康指数都要比同性恋或者异性恋差一些。例如,同性恋男性生活贫困的可能比异性恋男性高两倍,而双性恋男性在这方面的概率比同性恋男性还要再高两倍。看到这个数据,我心里感到很害怕。双性恋群体在LGBT群体中的占比是最高的:52%(数据来自2016年的美国社会运动进展计划 [1])。但是我们似乎也是最没有存在感的,没有双性恋酒吧,没有双性恋支持小组。这是一种显而易见的缺位。

最糟糕的是,有人相信双性恋群体是不存在的。最近,2月24号,推特上有一个全球热门话题: #BisexualMenExist(意为双性恋男性是存在的)。在这个话题里,我们需要不断反驳一个长期存在的很离谱的偏见:双性恋男性是小说里编出来的,是想象出来的,是生活在纳尼亚世界里的生物。

最近,性取向并非固定,而是在一定范围内浮动的观点获得了很多人的认可。在2020年,双性恋男人依然要为自己的存在辩护,这让我觉得很奇怪。

双性恋女性很明显不需要为证明自己的取向付出这么多的努力。我猜,这是因为直男们(写作直男,读作父权社会)会意淫两个有性亲密行为的女性仍然想要男人的关注。而两个男人在一起,对于直男来说是不值一提的,所以两个男的在一起了就说明他们一定是同性恋。我真的想说,一定要这样二极管吗!?二元性别论让我很迷惑,我永远也不会理解这种观点。

另一个让我觉得双性恋男性的存在很模糊的问题是,在电视和媒体中很难找到我们的身影。我们去哪儿了?我可以很直接地说,起码在我成长的澳大利亚,双性恋男性在媒体文化产品中就是完全不存在的。

幸好,随着其他酷儿身份的存在感越来越高,我们的情况也发生了变化。媒体平台里,展现多元性取向和性别特征的企划越来越多了。

稍微总结一下,双性恋真的存在吗?嗯……是的哦,我们存在。我们是不是有时被边缘化,被无视了呢?是的,但是我看到事情有在改善。


[1] The Movement Advancement Project


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Hal Fulcher

Hal Fulcher

Hal Fulcher accidentally shoplifted this scarf moments before this photo was taken. Upon realizing his mistake, he was too embarrassed to reenter the shop and instead enjoyed its warmth for several weeks before losing it at a cafe in Venice. He is 30-years-old, studied a Master in International Studies on Media, Power, and Difference at Universitat Pompeu Fabra in Barcelona and is currently enjoying the Manchester music scene. 

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