Amerikan Rüyasını Geride Bırakmak: Geldiğim Dünya ve Yuvam Dediğim Dünya

Ailen kültürler ve ülkelerle harmanlandığında, ayak uydurabildiğin bir yer bulmak zor gibi görünebilir.

Story by Kiri Wihongi-Croxford. Translated by Tuğçe Atacı
The United States , Northern America
Published on September 6, 2020

Reading time: 2 minutes

This story is also available in GB de es



Ailen kültürler ve ülkelerle harmanlandığında, ayak uydurabildiğin bir yer bulmak zor gibi görünebilir. Benim geçmişim çok karışık. Çifte vatandaş olarak 2 ülkede vatandaşlığım var ve bu ülkelerin ikisinde de yaşamayı tercih etmedim. Annem İngiliz ve dünyanın 4 ülkesinde kendine yuva bulmuş. Babam yerli Maori (Yeni Zelanda) ve dünyanın 3 ülkesinde kendine bir yuva yarattmış. Bu yüzden onların adımlarını takip edip doğduğum ülkenin yanı sıra diğer ülkelerde de kendime yuva bulmam şaşırtıcı değil.

Amerika Birleşik Devletleri’nde (ABD) doğdum ama çocukken Yeni Zelanda'da da kısa bir süreliğine kaldım. Hayatınınn çoğunu Amerikalı olarak geçiren bir çifte vatandaşım. Pek çok Amerikalının savunduğu yaygın bir inanç var: Dünyadaki başka hiçbir yer burası kadar güzel değil. ABD kültürlerin ve dinlerin bir araya geldiği bir pota, birçok teknolojinin ve yaşamı değiştiren yeniliğin merkez üssü. Eşitlik, özgürlük, para, güç, güvenlik, istikrar ve diğerleri, bazılarının ABD'de kalmaya karar vermesinin veya oraya göç etmeyi tercih etmesinin nedenlerindendir. "Amerikan rüyasını" yaşamak için.

Her şey elimin altında bulunuyormuş gibi hissetmeliydim, ama benim için orada bir şeyler uyuşmuyordu. Bana doğru gelen şeylerle bir denge tutturamadım.

Her iki ebeveynim de bu hayata veda etti. İkisi de vefat ettikten sonra bana ABD'yi terk etme fırsatı sunulduğunda, hiçbir şey beni engellemiyordu. Hâlâ burada olsalardı onlar için kalırdım, ancak ABD'de beni tutan güç artık orada değildi... Bu yüzden ayrılmaya karar verdim, herkes için uygun fiyatlı eğitim ve erişilebilir sağlık hizmetleri sunan, yeni bir dil öğrenerek kendini geliştirdiğin, para bakımından değil ama daha iyi bir iş/yaşam dengesinden elde ettiğin zenginliğin olduğu bir hayat için. Kısacası, daha iyi bir yaşam kalitesi ve dünya görüşü kazanma umuduna dair her şey ABD’den ayrılmaya karar vermemi sağladı.

Maalesef günümüzde birçok ülke siyasi olarak gergin bir dönemden geçiyor ve çoğu ülke bir savaşın içinde. Bu yerlerde yaşayanlar ülkelerine bir aşk besliyor ve oradaki kökleri çok eskilere dayanıyor. Ne yazık ki bu insanlar ülkelerinde kalamıyor ve başka yerlere sığınmaları gerekiyor.

Doğduğum ülkeyi terk etme arzum ölüm kalım meselesi değildi. Anne babamın adımlarını takip etmeyi seçebilme ayrıcalığına sahibim. Aradığım şeyleri ve çok daha fazlasını buldum. Gözlerimi yeni bir görüşe açmamı sağladı. Önceki bakış açım ağırlıklı olarak Amerikan rüyası tarafından şekillendirilmişti. Yeni düşünce yapımın nedeni ne olursa olsun, geldiğim dünya ve yuvam dediğim dünya, bana ebeveynlerimin yaşamları boyunca ne yaptığına ve neden benim de aynısını yapmayı seçtiğime dair bir vizyon kazandırdı.


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Kiri Wihongi-Croxford

Kiri Wihongi-Croxford

I am born in the USA to immigrant parents. I am now living in the Netherlands and experiencing life from a perspective that many Americans never will. I am also a citizen of two countries, a hairstylist by trade, wife and mother.

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