Photo by author

هل هذا ذنبنا؟

كامرأة، من المحتم أن تتعرضي للمضايقة. من الصعب معرفة كيفية التصرف في هذه اللحظات. يمكن أن يكون الشعور بالإحراج والإذلال أكثر ضررًا من أي شيء آخر
Netherlands, Western Europe

Story by Nika. Translated by Maha Abdullatif
Published on June 17, 2023.

This story is also available in GB cn es kr



Content Warning: This story contains mentions of sexual harassment and assault that can be upsetting for some readers.

تحذير بشأن المحتوى: تحتوي هذه القصة على إشارات إلى تحرش واعتداء جنسي يمكن أن يكون مزعجًا لبعض القراء
أنا لا أسمي نفسي نسوية. في الواقع، أنا حذره من هذه التصنيفات المتحيزة. أعتقد أن التحيز الجنسي يسير في كلا الاتجاهين. قد يكون من الصعب الحكم على ما إذا كان ينبغي اعتبار ملاحظة على أنها مجاملة أو كتعليق متحيز جنسيًا. بصفتي شخصًا اسعى إلى فهم أفضل للأشخاص وفيما بينهم، أعتقد أننا جميعًا بحاجة إلى التسامح قبل أن نحكم على كلمات الآخرين وسلوكهم ونظراتهم. ومع ذلك، هناك حالات يكون فيها سلوك الناس ببساطة غير محتمل - ذكريات صغيرة غير سارة. أحاول ألا أفكر فيهم، لأنني في كل مرة أفعل ذلك أتمنى أن أدفن رأسي في الرمال. لماذا؟ لأنها حدثت لي في أماكن عامة. أي أنه كان بإمكان الناس رؤية ما يجري، ولكن لم يفعل أحد شيئًا. عندما تحدث لي مثل تلك المواقف كنت اخجل، لا اصرخ ولا أقف او ابتعد. عندما نظر إلى هؤلاء الأشخاص في الأماكن العامة، بدا الأمر وكأنني كنت مخطئة لأنني لم أفعل شيئًا للدفاع عن نفسي

سأروي حادثتين. حدث كلاهما عندما كنت طالبة في هولندا. الأول وقع في الليل. كنت أسير إلى المنزل مع صديقة من إحدى الحفلات مرتدية تنورة قصيرة. بينما كنا نسير على طريق هادئ، لاحظت ظلًا بجواري. عندما نظرت إلى جانبي، رأيت رجلاً بقلنسوة داكنة، تفوح منه رائحة الأعشاب. كان لديه تعبير خبيث. قبل أن أعرف ذلك، رفع تنورتي وأمسك بي. لقد صدمت وتجمدت. لكن صديقي، الذي هو أطول مني بكثير، كان هادئًا للغاية وصرخ بصوت عالٍ. لحسن الحظ، الرجل لم يتوقع ذلك وهرب. سارعنا إلى المنزل ووصلنا بسلام. هذه الحادثة أصابتني بالصدمة لليلة واحدة فقط لأنها انتهت بشكل جيد. وحدي، لا أعتقد أنني كنت سأمتلك الشجاعة للدفاع عن نفسي ولم أذهب أبعد من ذلك في تخيل ما يمكن أن حدث

الحادثة الثانية شيء أتذكره بتردد كبير. كنت جالسة في القطار "الترام" عائدة إلى المنزل بعد قضاء يوم في الحرم الجامعي. كان القطار ممتلئًا. كان مقعدي يواجه الممر. بينما كنت جالسة في مقعدي، وقف رجل بشكل ملاصق لمقعدي اي أمامي مباشرة لدرجة أنني إذا نظرت لأعلى، واجهت المنشعب. فجأة، بدأ في القيام بحركات مشبوهة. في البداية، لم أصدق ذلك. حاولت أن أرى من زوايا عيني ما إذا كانت شكوكي صحيحة. كل ما استطعت رؤيته هو النظرات المرعبة للركاب الآخرين. كنت أعرف ما كان يفعله. كان يحاول الاستمناء أمام وجهي. شعرت بالصدمة وجمدت مرة أخرى. شعرت الثواني التي استغرقتها حتى المحطة التالية بأنها ساعات. عندما وصلت المحطة التالية وقفت وانا مصدومة وهرعت إلى الشارع. وها أنا أشعر أنى الفتاة الغبية الخجولة

عندما يحدث لك شيء من هذا القبيل، غالبًا ما يكون من الصعب معرفة كيفية الرد. تمنيت بصدق أن يكون الناس من حولي قد فعلوا شيئًا - مثلما فعل صديقي في تلك الليلة. يمكن أن يكون الإحراج والإذلال أكثر إيلامًا من أي شيء آخر ولا يزالان في ذاكرتي. الصمت والجهل يسمحان بحدوث مثل هذه الحوادث

كلمة أخيرة، أود أن أشكر صديقي الشجاع لمساعدتي في تلك الليلة. آمل أن يصبح المارة الذين يتعرضون للتحرش الجنسي مثل صديقي وأن يقفوا ويصرخون.


How does this story make you feel?

Follow-up

Do you have any questions after reading this story? Do you want to follow-up on what you've just read? Get in touch with our team to learn more! Send an email to
[email protected].

Talk about this Story

Please enable cookies to view the comments powered by Disqus.

Share your story

Every story we share is another perspective on a complex topic like migration, gender and sexuality or liberation. We believe that these personal stories are important to better understand what's going on in our globalised society - and to better understand each other. That's because we are convinced that the more we understand about each other, the easier it will be for us to really talk to one another, to get closer - and to maybe find solutions for the issues that affect us all. 

Do you want to share your story? Then have a look here for more info.

Share Your Story

Subscribe to our Monthly Newsletter

Stay up to date with new stories on Correspondents of the World by subscribing to our monthly newsletter:

* indicates required

Follow us on Social Media

Nika

Nika

This story is published under a pseudonym due to the sensitive content shared. The fact that she cannot share her name shows how difficult and embarrassing harassment can be. In reading the story, you may reflect on Nika’s call to stand up to harassment and make public spaces safe for everyone.

Other Stories in عربي

ERROR: No additional fieldsERROR: No author image found


Show all

Get involved

At Correspondents of the World, we want to contribute to a better understanding of one another in a world that seems to get smaller by the day - but somehow neglects to bring people closer together as well. We think that one of the most frequent reasons for misunderstanding and unnecessarily heated debates is that we don't really understand how each of us is affected differently by global issues.

Our aim is to change that with every personal story we share.

Share Your Story

Community Worldwide

Correspondents of the World is not just this website, but also a great community of people from all over the world. While face-to-face meetings are difficult at the moment, our Facebook Community Group is THE place to be to meet other people invested in Correspondents of the World. We are currently running a series of online-tea talks to get to know each other better.

Join Our Community

EXPLORE TOPIC Gender

Global Issues Through Local Eyes

We are Correspondents of the World, an online platform where people from all over the world share their personal stories in relation to global development. We try to collect stories from people of all ages and genders, people with different social and religious backgrounds and people with all kinds of political opinions in order to get a fuller picture of what is going on behind the big news.

Our Correspondents

At Correspondents of the World we invite everyone to share their own story. This means we don't have professional writers or skilled interviewers. We believe that this approach offers a whole new perspective on topics we normally only read about in the news - if at all. If you would like to share your story, you can find more info here.

Share Your Story

Our Editors

We acknowledge that the stories we collect will necessarily be biased. But so is news. Believing in the power of the narrative, our growing team of awesome editors helps correspondents to make sure that their story is strictly about their personal experience - and let that speak for itself.

Become an Editor

Vision

At Correspondents of the World, we want to contribute to a better understanding of one another in a world that seems to get smaller by the day - but somehow neglects to bring people closer together as well. We think that one of the most frequent reasons for misunderstanding and unnecessarily heated debates is that we don't really understand how each of us is affected differently by global issues.

Our aim is to change that with every personal story we share.

View Our Full Vision & Mission Statement

Topics

We believe in quality over quantity. To give ourselves a focus, we started out to collect personal stories that relate to our correspondents' experiences with six different global topics. However, these topics were selected to increase the likelihood that the stories of different correspondents will cover the same issues and therefore illuminate these issues from different perspectives - and not to exclude any stories. If you have a personal story relating to a global issue that's not covered by our topics, please still reach out to us! We definitely have some blind spots and are happy to revise our focus and introduce new topics at any point in time. 

Environment

Discussions about the environment often center on grim, impersonal figures. Among the numbers and warnings, it is easy to forget that all of these statistics actually also affect us - in very different ways. We believe that in order to understand the immensity of environmental topics and global climate change, we need the personal stories of our correspondents.

Gender and Sexuality

Gender is the assumption of a "normal". Unmet expectations of what is normal are a world-wide cause for violence. We hope that the stories of our correspondents will help us to better understand the effects of global developments related to gender and sexuality, and to reveal outdated concepts that have been reinforced for centuries.

Migration

Our correspondents write about migration because it is a deeply personal topic that is often dehumanized. People quickly become foreigners, refugees - a "they". But: we have always been migrating, and we always will. For millions of different reasons. By sharing personal stories about migration, we hope to re-humanize this global topic.

Liberation

We want to support the demand for justice by spotlighting the personal stories of people who seek liberation in all its different forms. Our correspondents share their individual experiences in creating equality. We hope that for some this will be an encouragement to continue their own struggle against inequality and oppression - and for some an encouragement to get involved.

Education

Education is the newest addition to our themes. We believe that education, not only formal but also informal, is one of the core aspects of just and equal society as well as social change. Our correspondents share their experiences and confrontations about educational inequalities, accessibility issues and influence of societal norms and structures. 

Corona Virus

2020 is a year different from others before - not least because of the Corona pandemic. The worldwide spread of a highly contagious virus is something that affects all of us in very different ways. To get a better picture of how the pandemic's plethora of explicit and implicit consequences influences our everyday life, we share lockdown stories from correspondents all over the world.

Growing Fast

Although we started just over a year ago, Correspondents of the World has a quickly growing community of correspondents - and a dedicated team of editors, translators and country managers.

94

Correspondents

112

Stories

56

Countries

433

Translations

Contact

Correspondents of the World is as much a community as an online platform. Please feel free to contact us for whatever reason!

Message Us

Message on WhatsApp

Call Us

Joost: +31 6 30273938